Allahu Akbar!

Ok - the rumor is almost officially true. Michael Jackson is converting to Islam. The AP ran the following statements from brother Jermaine yesterday:

"I think it is most probable that Michael will convert to Islam," Jackson said.

Jermaine, 52, converted to Islam in 1989 and now lives in Bahrain, where Michael has also recently taken up residence.

"When I came back from Mecca I got him a lot of books and he asked me lots of things about my religion and I told him that it's peaceful and beautiful," he said.

"He read everything and he was proud of me that I found something that would give me inner strength and peace."

And today, the San Francisco Chronicle ran the following lede:

Pop superstar Michael Jackson has confirmed his conversion to Islam, according to reports in the Middle East.

The Arab-Israeli newspaper Panorama claims Jackson has announced the move and revealed plans to move to Bahrain, where he has purchased property.

You know where my mind went first? Awesome. This solves everything! In my split-second view of the future, Jackson moves to Bahrain. He is received with great joy, ululations in the street (or is that just for mourning?). With his uncanny and unfathomable popularity, he moderates anti-American feeling. Jackson, the anti-Bush in pretty much every respect, undoes everything that Bush has done and builds a bridge between Americans and the Muslim world. By extension, the gloved one prevents the next terrorist attack, becomes a key figure in future hostage negotiations...

I can dream.

While looking into this tantalizing and earthshaking story, I found the welcome news that this is no mere spiritual dalliance for Michael Jackson. His interest in Islam goes at least back to December 17, 2003 - the night before he had child molestation charges filed against him. The New York Post reported then that this was the day he joined the Nation of Islam, and brought Leonard F. Muhammad, Louis Farrakhan's chief of staff, into his employ.

By the way - for those of you paying attention, we have finally seen the stories about Farrakhan that I was wondering about. Details about his state of health and "final" speech can be found here.

The question on everybody's mind - will Jackson make a good Muslim? One of the five pillars of the faith is Zakat, or charity. Oddly enough, this story also comes out today in the LA Daily News:

The family of a woman who died two years ago is suing Michael Jackson and a hospital, claiming the gravely ill patient was moved to make room for the pop star when he arrived with flu symptoms.

...

The family had previously complained publicly that Ruiz, who had suffered a heart attack and was on life support, was suddenly moved to make way for Jackson, whose Feb. 15, 2005, admission caused cancellation of a court session in his child-molestation trial. The pop star was later acquitted.

Ruiz's family says she was moved from her two-bed trauma unit to another room. She suffered a second heart attack and died later that day.

He can always take a go at Kabbalah.